It felt good. It felt absolute.
It felt pure and real and nothing all at once.
I know what I was wearing,

because you always think about the trivial things.
I was thinking about my sweater.
My green sweater.
I was thinking about when I got it,
and how my mom picked it out.
How I almost ripped it the first day I had it.
I was thinking about how green it was,
such a precise shade.
I was thinking about the music,
I was thinking about the past,
and the events the music brought me back to.
I was thinking of what I was going to do.
I was careless and free as a bird.


I blinked.


I heard noise.



I was lost.



I saw the red and it consumed me.



I saw the deep distant tunnel of black that was my mind.



I thought of my dad.



I wanted to go home.

I could see the spiderweb of cracked glass.
I could see the blood and hair stuck to the windshield.
I could see the body curled to the shape of the car.
My car.
I could see my family crying.






and who knew it would be me?