seconds pass

March 30, 2011
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It felt good. It felt absolute.
It felt pure and real and nothing all at once.
I know what I was wearing,

because you always think about the trivial things.
I was thinking about my sweater.
My green sweater.
I was thinking about when I got it,
and how my mom picked it out.
How I almost ripped it the first day I had it.
I was thinking about how green it was,
such a precise shade.
I was thinking about the music,
I was thinking about the past,
and the events the music brought me back to.
I was thinking of what I was going to do.
I was careless and free as a bird.

I blinked.

I heard noise.

I was lost.

I saw the red and it consumed me.

I saw the deep distant tunnel of black that was my mind.

I thought of my dad.

I wanted to go home.

I could see the spiderweb of cracked glass.
I could see the blood and hair stuck to the windshield.
I could see the body curled to the shape of the car.
My car.
I could see my family crying.

and who knew it would be me?

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