Black Water

March 31, 2011
Black water
Shake water
Death water
This is the life giver
At the peak
Of destruction
Boats and trains
Cars and houses
Trees and every
Other debris
Imaginable
Here they mingle
In anything but
Harmony
Shove
Push
At the call
Of the swirling
Tempestuous
Current
And not to
Be forgotten:
The screams
Of those not quick
Upon their feet
And the bubbles
Rise unnoticed
The final breath
Of the damned





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This article has 13 comments. Post your own now!

leafy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 1:19 pm
Oh, I like this, especially how you tied it up stun a current disaster (well, it's not sk current now, but still). Great job! 5/5
 
Raytheraym said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 9:55 pm
Wow, this is great! It really brings to light the horror of the tsunami.
 
thefamoustapper said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Yes i guess thats true but what im trying to say is that you spoke about all different things not just one topic. as always, keep writing ;)
 
thefamoustapper said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Really great, i like how you view it from the perspective of the people in Japan. Great work
 
BrightBurningCampeador This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Actually, I'm just writing from my perspective, about what I saw in news clips.
 
thefamoustapper replied...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 9:00 pm
Oh ok, well anyways great poem!
 
alleykat15 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 4:40 pm
I think it's really cool how you took a disaster and almost made it seem beautiful.  Really powerful poem!
 
BrightBurningCampeador This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:32 pm
Actually, I whas trying to convey a sort of horror.
 
alleykat15 replied...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Yeah I got that.  What I meant was that by putting it in a poem instead of a straightforward news article or something you gave it a kind of beauty that normally isn't seen from natural disatsers.  A dark beauty I guess.  Etiher way I still love it!
 
Robyn97 said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Very powerful. It's cool how you wrote about something current.
 
redhairCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 11:36 am
Wow! I like how you keep it short, blunt and powerful!
 
.Izzy. said...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Wow. This is so great. I love all of the description in this. Keep writing!
 
GangstaEyes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 5:09 pm
This is such a strong tribute to Japan. The imagery woven into this makes it even better. Great writing! Japan, you're in our prayers.
 
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