I feel so alone…
No one understands me… not in the slightest…
You see only what I want you to see, what I force myself to show you.
You don’t really know me… no one does, no one can know me.
I’m heartbroken, a liar, a thief.
I do things that you would never understand.
That no one in the world totally understands.
They say they do, but they don’t.
It’s impossible to know how I feel, why I do these things to myself.
I do it to escape. It’s such a sweet escape.
It hurts, but it releases my anger, my sadness, my fear, my worry.
My smiling face is nothing but a façade.
It’s like an amazing magic trick that no one gets or understands.
IT’s the opposite of a disappearing act.
I make the happy-go-lucky smiling lie appear,
And the misery disappear.
I guess it kind of is a disappearing and appearing act in one.
How happy. How not happy. How fake.
I try to be real, but you put me down.
None of my friends see how sad I am. How p***ed I am when you put me down.
You may not even realize that you are doing it, but you are.
Every single time I see you, I look away.
I can’t help it. We have always hated each other.
It’s always gonna be that way.
IF our future kids ever meet, they will hate each other.
They will pick on each other.
It’s just the way things will always be… No way to stop it.
At least I cannot think of any ways.
Just another thing to make me sad.
I cannot be happy, not truly.
Nothing can ever make me honestly, truly, completely happy.
…Nothing…