Fall From Paradise

March 30, 2011
By justaRENegade SILVER, Trenton, Georgia
justaRENegade SILVER, Trenton, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia."


I hear its hissing in my ear
A serpent offering a delicious escape
Lies of knowledge, of freedom, of safety
Refusing to fall, a modern day Eve
“Just a little bite, no need to go hungry”
I pretend the offer isn’t appealing
Even though my thoughts are
All consumed with the urge
For just ‘one more bite’

The slithery creature wraps around my neck
Choking off my senses after every bad day
“Don’t you want to feel something, anything?”
The same question I’ve posed
For what feels like a million years
To feel again, to know I’m still alive
To know I’m still breathing
Living like a dancing corpse
An actress in a movie about my life
A fictional character in my own body

The urge grows, shaky hands clenched
In protest, not again, never again
I refuse to heed your cries for more
I will not be a sacrifice, not be a blood offering
To a society who could care less
About anyone but themselves
And who just ignores the girl in long sleeve shirts
In the middle of a hot summer day


“But if no one cares, why not..”
Shut up! I won’t listen to you this time
But the shiny silver fruit, laying just beyond reach
Just once more, just one more indulgence in this
So-called ‘Sin of the flesh’, what’s so bad with a little
Taste?

Fingers graze my skin, raised scars covering my arms
My body tremors, like an addict about to get their fix
My breathing stutters, I touch the silver demon
Eyes closed, reveling in the cold stainless steel
Just one more… bite
A red offering wells up against pale skin
And now it’s paradise lost


The author's comments:
I've suffered with Self-Injury since I was twelve years old. It's been a struggle, and every bad incident just makes those urges return.

I write this as a point of view of the daily battle of those who are currently, or have been, self-injurers.

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