I run to my room and slam the door
Slowly slide down to the cold floor.
I'm sweating now, take the blade slowly
To my arm...
And pause.

I ask a few questions to myself
And try to recollect,
The memories that made me smile
The happiness I felt.
But I was so caught up
In wallow and self-pity
And going back to my happy times
Made me feel trippy.

(I touch the blade to my skin)

The pain that I had endured,
The crap that I'd been through,
The faces of the people
Who considered me as a fool.
I stood up to the whole world
While really trembling inside,
But the smoke-screen's been blown away,
There’s nothing more to hide.

(The blade cuts into my skin...I see blood)

Blood red, the top he wore
When I told him how I felt
It was so easy for him to
Just make my heart melt.
Blood red, the line that showed the world,
How I had flunked so bad,
And all the colour drained out of me
When I saw my hopes all dashed.

(The blade cuts a bit deeper...I feel the pain...the pain pushes away all my previous pain. And I focus on happy times...so I die peacefully)

I remember the times with friends
The happy peaceful times...
Hanging out, chattering around
About who's with whom and why?
I remember the times I enjoyed
Like crazy with my family,
Travelling, cooking and the fun of
Putting up the Christmas tree.

(My hand stops cutting into my flesh...I withdraw it...)

Is the pain of my failures
Worth giving up so much?
Does my happiness, my life
Have no real value as such?
No it does, I tell myself
Coz life's a wonderful gift
God shows us a perfect way
But we only do as we see fit.

It’s a terrible sight to see
What I have done to me
I completely transformed backwards,
It’s crazy, can’t you see?
It’s wrong what I have done
But what's done can't be undone
I have to try to get better
Prevent myself from being glum

(I try to stem the flow, it does not stop...I feel faint...the end must be near)

But I don't want to go anymore
Really truly want to stay
And change my life forevermore
Make merrier my day
But I sense that it’s now too late
I’ve got to succumb.
Life's too beautiful to end
But a minute and it’s done.

(The blade now slips from my lifeless hands)