If I Die

March 26, 2011
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If I die
Please don’t
Lock me in a box
With all my stuff
My favorite books, favorite poetry
And pretend that
Everybody knows me
Please don’t
Leave a place at the table for me
Ask for a reservation for one more than you are
So my ghost can be with you
At all times
But please remember me
Never forget
Don’t
Avoid talking about me,
No matter how much it hurts,
Because
Eventually
That’ll help you get over me
But even then, please
Keep talking about me
Not like I’m there, exactly,
But like my
Memory is,
Because I hope it always will be
Please try to
Publish some of my poetry
If it’s not too painful for you to see my words
Across the page, please
Don’t drift apart from each other
Because of me,
Instead
How about getting close together
And all helping each other?
Please
Don’t erase all the pictures of me from
Your hard drive,
Thinking it’ll erase me from your heart
Please
Don’t make up all those
“If only”s and “What ifs”
‘Cause how could you ever know
What I would have turned out to be?
Please don’t
Forget my faults,
Never idolize a fake me
But please
Remember my qualities, and love me
As you do the living,
In the same way
As exactly as you are capable of
Please talk about me
Whenever you can, but not
Excessively
Please
Don’t make me a closed subject
And start to cry because of good memories,
Don’t let my
Ghost
Poison these
Please don’t
Use my imagined will
To dictate your lives, saying
“She’d want this,”
“She’s want that”
That will make you cry
And it’ll be false
And you will know it,
And it will poison all your days
So if I die –
I hope I won’t, but if
I do –
Please don’t lock me in a box
With all my memories of you
In a corner
Of a room
Just under the wind-blown, ghostly
Roof.





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