Asthma | Teen Ink

Asthma

March 28, 2011
By Untouchable-Summer SILVER, Cranford, New Jersey
Untouchable-Summer SILVER, Cranford, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Even the best fall down sometimes


Asthma
Air.
It is vital. I used to take it for granted,
And the way my body works
Involuntarily
Lungs rising up, down, up down
All until
Suddenly
I was temporarily stripped of the privilege
of breathing.
It is very scary
To inhale
And find that there is nothing there.
Well, of course the air is still
THERE,
But my lungs have crumpled,
Like twin tin cans,
Out of order.
As the world spins farther out of my grasp,
And my hands, now cool and sweaty, clench like crab claws,
I want to remind you
How beautiful it is
To be able to take
A deep breath
Without having
To try.


The author's comments:
This poem is based on my personal experience with asthma.

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This article has 30 comments.


Shmelmo GOLD said...
on May. 3 2011 at 11:16 am
Shmelmo GOLD, Elma, Iowa
16 articles 9 photos 143 comments

Favorite Quote:
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

This is a really good poem that I can relate to! Keep writing!

on Apr. 28 2011 at 9:58 pm
Untouchable-Summer SILVER, Cranford, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Even the best fall down sometimes

thanks rachel! :)

on Apr. 28 2011 at 9:58 pm
Untouchable-Summer SILVER, Cranford, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Even the best fall down sometimes

aww thank you:)

chitchatwolf said...
on Apr. 28 2011 at 6:10 pm

Great job! I think out of all the ones you have shared , this is the besr

-rachel


on Apr. 28 2011 at 5:49 pm
rubyrainstorm SILVER, Closter, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 275 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
-Buddha.

Wow, this poem was epic! I loved it so much! BTW, thanks for checking out my work! Keep on writing bieberl0ve15! you're amazing at it!

on Apr. 28 2011 at 4:14 pm
Untouchable-Summer SILVER, Cranford, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Even the best fall down sometimes

Aww thank you! :) :)

on Apr. 28 2011 at 2:36 pm

i absolutely love this poem!! its amazing!!!!! its reallly dramatic :)

-Julia Madsen, HAS


on Apr. 26 2011 at 6:47 pm
Untouchable-Summer SILVER, Cranford, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Even the best fall down sometimes

Haha hey! And thanks so much :)

jdbislyfe333 said...
on Apr. 26 2011 at 5:54 pm

hey elyse! ur poem is amazing. i love how u space out the sentense to make it more intense :)

~Christina


on Apr. 25 2011 at 1:20 pm
Untouchable-Summer SILVER, Cranford, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Even the best fall down sometimes

If you read this, PLEASE comment/rate my poem! I would love your feedback :)