My life was never known
Previously unprecedented

Until I met my best friend
A little boy named Ernest
Who slept under my bed
Who ate under my table
Who studied under my desk

Ernest followed me around
Recording my life
And all of its dull moments

He was there when I won
He was there when the car hit
He was there for the fun
He was there when my world split.

Ernest wrote a great story
With no exaggeration or elaboration
Just me,
On paper

We stood on the streets
Passing out fliers to pedestrians
A few took them and threw them away
Others took them and praised me

Soon reporters came with their tablets
And TV stations came with their cameras

We ran
Back into the depths of my mind
The only place where we could hide
People would know
People would holler
But Ernest and I never breathed a word

Now my sad story continues
Still unprecedented