March 4, 2011
By , New Milford, CT
Sitting in Guidance
Waiting to unleash this rage…

This rage inside my soul is taking over me
Eating me from the inside out
And worst of all…it won’t let go of me

Looking at myself through a vase on the table…
Full of flowers…
Full of life…and happiness…

I watch these beautiful flowers
Turn to dust…
The vase dissolves and becomes one with that table

Reminds me of what’s happening to me
This rage is turning me to dust
And watching me dissolve

I know there is a way to fight against it…
I just don’t know how…

This rage…
It’s with me 24/7
Sometimes worse than other times….

But when I see you
My rage erupts
Like a volcano
That hasn’t erupted in a decade…

I want to yell and scream at you
The thoughts that run through my brain….
They are so terrible…
I can’t even believe I’m thinking them…

Ever since you did what you….
So many questions have run through my mind….
These thoughts….this rage is driving me crazy

Driving me so crazy I feel like hurting myself
Just to get rid of them
I keep asking myself the same question

Is it time to pull the trigger?
The trigger of this gun that could take all this rage…
All this pain…and hurt…..
Take it all away

So I never have to see it again…..
Is it time yet?

how bout now??
I think its time…

To pull the trigger….
Don’t you think?

I think so….


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SmileyFace13 said...
Sept. 25, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Wow this was really good. So full of feeling. really beautiful. I really love it. Specially all the... <--- like little hesitations. It shows you emotion better.

on a side note.... im really sorry that your friend inconsiderately hurt you. I know how that feels. Freakin sucks for sure. But it gets better and if your thinking out suicide dont do it. :) i bet your amazing and your really talented too. 

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