Shiver

March 14, 2011
I shiver in the cold
In the chaos
Of an impassive world
When the numbness relents
I open the door to discover
A tangled web
Of sadness, anger, hopelessness
Confusion engulfs me

My questions remain
Suspended in the frigid air
Sometimes out of sight
But never out of mind
Always shadowing life
Blocking the sun’s warming rays

I see and hear people
But am surrounded by a bubble
Blocking out everything
Except shallow emotion
I push and push and push
But the bubble never pops

Alone, I live
A full life of emotion,
Thoughts and dreams
This is my life
Everything else is surreal
A dream that’s hard to recall

In the darkest of my days
Horrible thoughts began to chain me
Imprisoning me
In a world that has forever affected me
That shriveled my soul
Into the verge of nothingness

With the darkest dark though
Comes the lightest light
So bright it’s blinding
But allows me to see
Better than ever before
Finally, my eyes are open

In a revelation that holds
The most desperate truth
I have always needed
My bubble burst
The world flooded in
Water purifying my soul

Slowly it grew
A chain reaction
Brought about by light
That now forever rests
Encased in my soul
Intertwined into my life

Sometimes I wonder
How I survived
The draining dark
Will power? Hope?
Or maybe I always knew
My fate

Maybe it was always there
A crouched tiger
Eager to pounce
Rearing to break free
Of the chains
Of the oppressive dark

Maybe there was no bubble
Only a figment of my imagination
Or maybe it was me
Who created my bubble
Who sought darkness
When the light was always there

In hindsight, I realize
How obvious the answer was
Point blank in front of me
But today it doesn’t matter
Somehow I made it
Scared but unscathed
And now, engulfed in warmth
I shiver from happiness





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