The Girl Inside.

March 13, 2011
She is their doll
Their slave.
She is a mirror image of their motions
And follows them around like a hungry dog.
She hides under her thick mask of makeup and forced smiles.
But it is the girl inside
That was once my true best friend.
Now she’s at the other end of the cafeteria
Sitting beside the queen of the kingdom.
A cruel-hearted witch in designer’s clothing.
I on the other hand
Live in the land of the wandering minstrels and scholars
Our noses forever buried in books
Our premises overflowing with laughter.
I can see that look of longing when she spots me giggling along
To something that I actually find funny.
I can see that gleam of regret
When she notices how at ease we are at our lunch table.
And I can see that blush of shame
When we lock eyes for a quick moment.
Even though I don’t forgive the girl who snickers at me in the halls
I forgive the girl inside.

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ema2423 said...
Apr. 16, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Really good; nice vocab :]


ExpRESsY0uRselF replied...
Apr. 16, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Thanks, but I owe it to the thesaurus! 8)
ema2423 replied...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 8:15 pm
Lol! I do the same thing!
Debbie1 said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 9:42 pm
Wow! this poem was great! I really can relate, and i totally get what you mean!
LiveInTheMoment replied...
Apr. 16, 2011 at 9:01 am
Thanks, Debbie1. This was actually a true story, and I wrote this poem basically in tears after it happened to me. 8) But thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it. 8)
BeatleMania16 said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 4:30 pm

hi, i loved this!! the idea is very relatable--in fact this thing basically happened to me...


i understand exactly what you mean in this poem. as for the feedback, i'm not great at this...but if i was you, i might add more creative spacing. some poems are fine just the way this is, but i thought this was a bit repetetive in spacing.

LiveInTheMoment replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 8:58 pm
Thanks so much BeatleMania16. Looking back, you're right, I could have made the spacing more creative. Sorry, this poem was the worst out of the 4 that I submitted, but funnily enough, this was the first one to earn approval. 8) Again, thanks for the feedback! I'll take your advice the next time I write a poem! 8)
LiveInTheMoment said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Hi guys, whoever reads this article, please please please rate it, or comment on it. I'm kind of desperate for feedback! Thanks so much!
Zazawish777 replied...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm

this is really good. please rate and comment mine work too! thanks.

5 stars

ExpRESsY0uRselF replied...
May 1, 2011 at 11:38 am
Sorry for the reaaally late reply, but I will definitely try to check out your work! 8)
Zazawish777 replied...
May 2, 2011 at 8:51 am
Thanks! :)
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