Dear Mom,

March 21, 2011
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The sound of a heart shattering, and teeth chattering, isn’t too flattering.
Could split a diamond in half, can’t rewind the past, standing thinking fast.
It’s like a morning wake up call, mind all in awe, the world seems to fall.
And it burns deep day after day, like the sun rays, what can I even say.

I rather deal with physical than all that emotional pain.
Just can’t deal with that it’s like trying to stop the rain.
See it stays stuck inside no matter how hard I can strain.

Grabbing my hair and fighting, sharp as lightening, so I keep on writing.
Evil is driving fast in my veins, in the high speed lanes, it can’t be tamed.
Just have to scream out loud, its like fighting clouds, no satisfaction aloud.
Where do I go and what to say, do I swear or pray, beer, pills, or maryj.

Am I making excuses to do bad or is it the hurt and pain.
When its sunny I’m still not myself so it can’t be the rain.
Give me an answer because my body can’t take the strain.

In a month it still stings, the venom rings, I’m a puppet on pain strings.
Let me be in my own solitude, this family feud, makes me want to puke.
And it’s going down hill, the void won’t fill, havn’t looked in her eyes still.
I’m just giving up hope, sliding down the rope, just can’t mentally cope.

I think its time to look to the sky to get rid of the pain.
And a sense of relief comes down this time with the rain.
My shoulders feel free from the constant stress of strain.

And all my feelings spew, tears of the truth, because I’m a hypocrite too.
So I said my apology, love taking over like monopoly, I’m so damn sorry.
The forgiveness was sweet, but the scar is soul deep, the hill is too steep.
So my heart’s stuck in jail, got no desire for bail, life isn’t always a fairytale.

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Janey said...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:02 am
That's right!! Look to the sky! Look to God and he will help you through your stuggles! The reason God is putting the pumps in the road is because he is getting you ready for something great in your life! Trust me. Pray and you will see.
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