I Saw Sean Penn (A True Story) This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

March 15, 2011
I saw Sean Penn outside
The United Nations,
calmly smoking a cigarette,
and soon everyone noticed.

That guy over there, he looks like
Sean Penn.
No wonder, he IS Sean Penn.
Can I take a picture?
Ssh! Don’t stare. I think he noticed

Like so many celebrity wh*res,
we noticed.
But he slipped away
through a side entrance with his posse
as surreptitiously as a celebrity with a posse could,
and soon it was over.
And that was it.

I guess I now have a good story without
a single redeeming value
to tell for the next few weeks
for a quick bout of cheap entertainment.
With a little embellishment and
my knack for hyperbole,
I might even impress my fellow celebrity wh*res of the world.

At least, until someone else spots James Franco.

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