The Innocent Girl

March 12, 2011
By inkblot13 PLATINUM, Auburn, New York
inkblot13 PLATINUM, Auburn, New York
41 articles 1 photo 162 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If I knew where poems came from, I'd go there"




- Michael Langley, 'Staying Alive'


The innocent girl
The one who doesn't understand the joke her friends make
But knows that they are wrong
The innocent girl
The one who doesn't:
Swear
Drink
Or do
Drugs
The sixteen year old without her first kiss
The innocent girl
Could she be the happiest one out of us all?



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This article has 8 comments.


on Aug. 27 2011 at 7:28 pm
inkblot13 PLATINUM, Auburn, New York
41 articles 1 photo 162 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If I knew where poems came from, I'd go there"




- Michael Langley, 'Staying Alive'

Thanks, and I had never thought of that before. Thanks for the idea! :D

on Aug. 27 2011 at 2:42 pm
BriarRose PLATINUM, Seneca, Illinois
24 articles 7 photos 162 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't need a rose. I want a daisy you picked for my hair. I don't want some fancy box of chocolate. I want a pink frosting cookie you made just for me. Lets skip the upscale restaraunt and have a picnic in the park.

This poem seems more structured than some of the others you have written. It has a definite rhythm to it. I like the way you wrote this. Something to consider, what if you were to not use the colon in the 5th line, and instead used commas? And maybe broke up the 10th line? It would add to the great ryhthm you already have in place

(So, it'd look like this)

The one who doesn't

Swear,

Or drink,

Or do drugs

The sixteen year old

Without her first kiss

 

Just a thought though, you did a fantastic job as is


on Jun. 22 2011 at 7:07 pm
That was awesome.  You have great insight and a fantastic way of putting it into words.  Awesome job.

on Jun. 18 2011 at 7:22 am
inkblot13 PLATINUM, Auburn, New York
41 articles 1 photo 162 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If I knew where poems came from, I'd go there"




- Michael Langley, 'Staying Alive'

thank you!

on Jun. 18 2011 at 7:21 am
inkblot13 PLATINUM, Auburn, New York
41 articles 1 photo 162 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If I knew where poems came from, I'd go there"




- Michael Langley, 'Staying Alive'

Thanks! :D

rric said...
on Jun. 17 2011 at 9:29 pm
srry!i rated this a two on accident but i rlly think it deserves at least a 4 this is my favorite out of all the ones u'v published and it makes me relize being innocent is not alwas a bad thing

on Jun. 17 2011 at 6:56 pm
rubyrainstorm SILVER, Closter, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 275 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
-Buddha.

This was really good. I like how it kinda made you feel guilty about yourself. Thats exactly what poetry is about: making others feel the emotions you want them to feel.  Great job!!!!

on Apr. 9 2011 at 3:32 pm
inkblot13 PLATINUM, Auburn, New York
41 articles 1 photo 162 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If I knew where poems came from, I'd go there"




- Michael Langley, 'Staying Alive'

author here- please rate and comment! i'd like to know what i can do better! thanks! :D


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