The Innocent Girl

March 12, 2011
The innocent girl
The one who doesn't understand the joke her friends make
But knows that they are wrong
The innocent girl
The one who doesn't:
Or do
The sixteen year old without her first kiss
The innocent girl
Could she be the happiest one out of us all?

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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

BriarRose This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 2:42 pm

This poem seems more structured than some of the others you have written. It has a definite rhythm to it. I like the way you wrote this. Something to consider, what if you were to not use the colon in the 5th line, and instead used commas? And maybe broke up the 10th line? It would add to the great ryhthm you already have in place

(So, it'd look like this)

The one who doesn't


Or drink,

Or do drugs

The sixteen year old

Without her first k... (more »)

inkblot13 replied...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 7:28 pm
Thanks, and I had never thought of that before. Thanks for the idea! :D
Grandma Florida said...
Jun. 22, 2011 at 7:07 pm
That was awesome.  You have great insight and a fantastic way of putting it into words.  Awesome job.
rric said...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 9:29 pm
srry!i rated this a two on accident but i rlly think it deserves at least a 4 this is my favorite out of all the ones u'v published and it makes me relize being innocent is not alwas a bad thing
inkblot13 replied...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 7:22 am
thank you!
ExpRESsY0uRselF said...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 6:56 pm
This was really good. I like how it kinda made you feel guilty about yourself. Thats exactly what poetry is about: making others feel the emotions you want them to feel.  Great job!!!!
inkblot13 replied...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 7:21 am
Thanks! :D
inkblot13 said...
Apr. 9, 2011 at 3:32 pm
author here- please rate and comment! i'd like to know what i can do better! thanks! :D
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