Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Material Girls

I don’t see my friends anymore,
I see,
Their lip gloss,
Their hair straighteners,
Their eye shadow,
Their blush,
Their foundation,
Their eye-liner,
Their mascara,
Their everything,
But them.





Join the Discussion

This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

BieberLover16 said...
Oct. 20, 2011 at 11:12 am

very relateable.....I think of my sister when I read this. :S

Keep on Writing! C:

 
dontforget This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 8:22 am
very relateable... and again, I love it:] I like how it's short and to the point. As a writer, personally, I would have described the friends with different adjectives than just all make-up to mix it up a bit. This is only because I don't consider make-up something that I would not see my friends anymore if they wore. (cause all my friends and I wear it) I would see it more as their attitude, and the amount of make-up...I don't, just a thought haha..anyways, good work
 
XCLover said...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 8:59 pm
I don't know, I always consider punctuation in poetry to be whatever the author wants it to be. However, if I was writing this, I would have put a colon after "I see" just for a more emphasized pause before you get into the full flow of the other lines. Again, great job :D
 
Beachgirl1 replied...
Apr. 13, 2011 at 9:17 pm
thats a great idea :) thnx!
 
TheCreepyNeighbor said...
Apr. 10, 2011 at 3:09 pm

I like this. The fast paced lines were unique and had a nice flow.

Again, you don't need comma;s after ever line. Also I think I see shouldn't have a line of it's own, it's kind of like a speed bump in the flow.

 
Beachgirl1 replied...
Apr. 10, 2011 at 3:11 pm
thank you, and you are right, i will try not to use as much commas anymore!
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback