Mother Phoebe | Teen Ink

Mother Phoebe

March 8, 2011
By callie15 BRONZE, North Plains, Oregon
callie15 BRONZE, North Plains, Oregon
3 articles 21 photos 424 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?"
-Chuang Tzu

"No man with a good car needs to be justified!"
-Wise Blood


Clear welkin molds around pillars and pendulums
As a familiar hue
Peaceful blue

With the rise of earth and fall of sun
Black velvet is pulled over the pallet’s eyes
In eerie glow and glory
Phoebe rises once more
Slowly, the mortal and ever immortal should see
Her mass in the sky, a collied beauty

Beshrewed are these dragging hours
More parlous than a hind’s eye
But just as moving and still
As silent and boisterous
As guilty and innocent
As mysterious and known

Vestal Phoebe with the world in her womb
Will rub her abdomen and coo
If we feel the closeness
Realize the darkness
And deja vu

She lingers time, or so she tries
But she feels the bulging pressure
Phoebe reluctantly pushes and dwindles away until the fade of day

Freed darklings from the night until the loss of light


The author's comments:
Please comment on my poem. This is my first piece I've submitted to Teen Ink and would really like to know what you guys think of it. If I see fit, I can always rewrite this poem if you think it needs some editing.

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This article has 9 comments.


Ella1 GOLD said...
on Jan. 24 2012 at 7:23 pm
Ella1 GOLD,
14 articles 7 photos 137 comments
Never done that but I can try this weekend :) School is so busy with mid terms this week that I have no time for anything else! I will try it out though, it looks interesting!

on Jan. 24 2012 at 6:22 pm
callie15 BRONZE, North Plains, Oregon
3 articles 21 photos 424 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?"
-Chuang Tzu

"No man with a good car needs to be justified!"
-Wise Blood

Hmm, do you go on the forums? I don't really, but I can start!

Ella1 GOLD said...
on Jan. 23 2012 at 8:30 pm
Ella1 GOLD,
14 articles 7 photos 137 comments
I wish there was a way to friend or something like that :)

Ella1 GOLD said...
on Jan. 23 2012 at 8:26 pm
Ella1 GOLD,
14 articles 7 photos 137 comments
I wish there was a way to friend or something :)

on Jan. 22 2012 at 8:14 pm
callie15 BRONZE, North Plains, Oregon
3 articles 21 photos 424 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?"
-Chuang Tzu

"No man with a good car needs to be justified!"
-Wise Blood

Yeah, I've been needing a buddy on this website, and you seem so nice, so why not?

Ella1 GOLD said...
on Jan. 22 2012 at 7:24 pm
Ella1 GOLD,
14 articles 7 photos 137 comments
Yay! I would love to be your buddy :)

on Jan. 22 2012 at 6:09 pm
callie15 BRONZE, North Plains, Oregon
3 articles 21 photos 424 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?"
-Chuang Tzu

"No man with a good car needs to be justified!"
-Wise Blood

Aww, thanks so much! I think I've found a new buddy :)

Ella1 GOLD said...
on Jan. 22 2012 at 3:13 pm
Ella1 GOLD,
14 articles 7 photos 137 comments
Wow, I really love this poem and I'm not just saying it to say it! I love the words you used and thanks for providing the definitions, that helped :) You did a great job of tying Shakespeare's words into your poem and reflecting his style with your own twist! Keep it up

on Aug. 23 2011 at 9:23 pm
callie15 BRONZE, North Plains, Oregon
3 articles 21 photos 424 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?"
-Chuang Tzu

"No man with a good car needs to be justified!"
-Wise Blood

Sorry, some of these words are confusing. I had to write a poem for school using words in my novel, and I was reading "A Midsummer Night's Dream" by Shakespeare. So here's what some of the words mean:

Welkin: Sky; Gateway to Heaven

Collied: Darkened ("'A Darkened Beauty'")

Beshrewed: Cursed

Parlous: Dangerous

Vestal: Virgin

So yea, hope that helps :) I know this poem sounds very...adult-like. But I thought keeping the Shakespearian words gave the poem character. Hopefully everyone can tell the message of this poem, because I'd really hate having to explain that!

 



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