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I Live A Life

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Day by day i live a life,
A life of pain,
Of emptiness,
Being misunderstood.
People see me now,
They here my voice,
Feel my touch.
They just don't know me,
They don't want to.
Do i?
Do i really want them to know,
Reach out for me,
Be there one minute,
Just to disappear the next?
I always end up wanting something,
Receiving it,
Then regret it.
Pain is all i know,
All i'm used to,
What i "want".
I wanted something better,
Received it,
Regret it.
I don't know how to live like this,
A family that won't leave,
Who are mighty protective.
It scares me.
Is it real?
How long will it last?
Why don't i want it?
I fight it.
All the emptiness i feel,
That numbness,
Why do i welcome it?
Because of it,
I don't know when i'm hungry.
I hardly eat,
Hardly sleep,
Don't know what to do.
That emptiness keeps that fake smile,
Makes it last 'till i can fall apart.
Do it alone when nobody's around,
Everybody's sleepin',
Thinking i do so as well.
All these people,
Loving,
Or
Not,
They misunderstand me.
Never really knowing me,
Never really caring.
Being invisible was better,
This is worse.
Feeling more lonely in a crowd of people,
Then alone in my empty room.
Having my friends around,
Knowing they care,
For they've gone through similar things,
They know parts of my pain,
Parts of me.
Some say i need a boyfriend,
But i really need a friend,
Friends who understand the ~
Day by day i live a life,
A life of pain,
Of emptiness,
Being misunderstood.



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