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the hurt and long lived pain

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My life is off track,
Never again to be the same.
I made some choices,
Most of which I'm not proud of,
But i shall not hide them.
My life is unraveling,
Never to be mine,
Was it ever?
I was spoiled rotten,
Happy as ever,
Never to be disappointed.
Then daddy died,
people took over,
never really caring how their actions might affect
Me,
Just do as you please,
Get it over with.
Everybody's always tryin to change me,
For i am never good enough.
My life is hell,
Never going
(Going back to?)
Heaven.
I am scrambled,
A mix of feelings,
No longer combined by
One.
Always broken,
Hurt.
Never knowing what to do.
I'm sick and tired of this sh**.
Living every day wondering,
When will be my last?
They say God doesn't put you through
More than you can handle,
So why do i want my life to be
Done and over with?
What good am i?
I no longer want to go to church,
Feeling as if God has betrayed me.
He took so much,
Now i no longer feel anything but
Pain.
Why put me through hell while You're in heaven,
Watching...
Or are You?
Why do i hurt so much?
What did i do wrong?
Why
Why
Why?!?
Tomorrow is another day,
Only to be the same.
So hit me with your best shot world,
I wont feel it.
For i already hurt....




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