Everyone You Love

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
Everyone you love
Will find a way that leads to disappointment

Everyone you love
Will leave your heart broken and bent

Everyone you love
Will tell you lies rather than say what is right

Everyone you love
Will disappear and be nowhere in sight

Everyone you love
Will never be there at your side

Everyone you love
Will ignore you for their own pride

Everyone you love
Will hurt you more than once

Everyone you love
Will deceive you with their alluring stunts

Everyone you love
Will cause tears to fill in your eye

Everyone you love
Will one day shrivel up and die





Join the Discussion

This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Hotaru said...
Apr. 8, 2011 at 9:50 am
I loved this poem because I can relate to everything that you are saying. My favorite part was when you said, "Will disappear and be nowehere in sight." That was so true to something that happened to me. This poem really touched me and played with my emotions when I read it. Great job!
 
TanGem This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 4:21 pm

I like the realistic idea of this poem. However, the rhyme scheme needs to be fixed so that the 2nd line of each stanza has the same about of beats. Otherwise it gets confusing.

I think the endless repetition of "Everyone you love" doesn't contribute much to the piece because its meaning doesn't change at all from the beginning to the end. So either only say it once or allow the meaning of the phrase to evolve as the piece progresses.

Hope that helps! :)

 
Sabrina13 said...
Mar. 30, 2011 at 10:01 am
very good and so true
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback