Everyone You Love

February 28, 2011
By lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
40 articles 5 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live Life Like A Party That Never Ends


Everyone you love
Will find a way that leads to disappointment

Everyone you love
Will leave your heart broken and bent

Everyone you love
Will tell you lies rather than say what is right

Everyone you love
Will disappear and be nowhere in sight

Everyone you love
Will never be there at your side

Everyone you love
Will ignore you for their own pride

Everyone you love
Will hurt you more than once

Everyone you love
Will deceive you with their alluring stunts

Everyone you love
Will cause tears to fill in your eye

Everyone you love
Will one day shrivel up and die


The author's comments:
Friends and family alike, the ones you love are the ones that hurt you the most.

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This article has 3 comments.


Hotaru said...
on Apr. 8 2011 at 9:50 am
I loved this poem because I can relate to everything that you are saying. My favorite part was when you said, "Will disappear and be nowehere in sight." That was so true to something that happened to me. This poem really touched me and played with my emotions when I read it. Great job!

on Apr. 2 2011 at 4:21 pm
TanGem PLATINUM, Colorado Springs, Colorado
34 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is not a feeling; it is a gift, an act, an ultimate sacrifice. -Me (Em)

I like the realistic idea of this poem. However, the rhyme scheme needs to be fixed so that the 2nd line of each stanza has the same about of beats. Otherwise it gets confusing.

I think the endless repetition of "Everyone you love" doesn't contribute much to the piece because its meaning doesn't change at all from the beginning to the end. So either only say it once or allow the meaning of the phrase to evolve as the piece progresses.

Hope that helps! :)


Sabrina13 GOLD said...
on Mar. 30 2011 at 10:01 am
Sabrina13 GOLD, Jacksonville, Florida
14 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
*As I lay here,
thinking of you.
All my thoughts,
Gray and Blue.
I wish I could see you,
I wish I could.
Then maybe my life
could be understood.
But, still I'm down
and Thinking Of You.

* Inside this mirror, I see myself,
trapped bhind a face no lo

very good and so true


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