This is painful and
You might not believe it but
Right now I'm somewhere in between
Sound asleep and wide awake
On the border of dreaming but
It’s so real I can still smell your house
And see your hardwood floors
And cluttered kitchen
I can still see you

I imagine conversations we could have
We would laugh and smile
Those dimples have not been where they belong
And I miss them
Or maybe I just miss you

These dreams are quick, too fast to grab
And I am sorry
I might be way too early or far too late
You may not be listening,
But I am sorry

When I dropped the ball, it shattered
On impact there are a million pieces
Shards of glass that cut and hurt
I'm standing here with my heart pounding
I can barely hear a thing but I hear you
I’ve got tears streaming down my face and
Now I am no longer dreaming

You build walls
They are so real I can see them
Feel them, maybe I was them
There was no one else it was just us
Or maybe I just shoved you over the edge
And you shattered
Maybe you did not want to be put back together

Our stories became separate books
It’s hard to read words on separate pages
But I'm so exhausted of rereading our chapters together
The words are becoming lies and
I do not know them anymore
I do not know you anymore
And for that I am sorry

I have ripped and torn page after page
They are like vines creeping back so quickly
And they were right where they are supposed to be