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If I Were Never Here

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Our first conversation wasn't normal in the least
Even talking to you was an unusual feat
I told you I loved you, but that was a lie,
Even if I didn't know it at the time

I was blushing crimson red
And the angle of my head
Had me looking at the ground
'Stead of holding myself proud

I expected you to walk away
Or, even worse, to hate me
But you put on a comforting face
And held my eyes in place

I guess I looked expectant
Because your voice held a drop of regret
As your mouth started moving
And you told me you didn't feel the same

I was beginning to apologize
But you told me not to worry
As you held out your hand
And asked if we could be friends

I was surprised and asked you why,
And you said that you wanted to know me
And that you wanted me to find out
That you were not right for me
And that I would get over you
In time, because I didn't really love you
Because you knew it was a lie
But I was confused at the time

We started spending time together
And we became close friends
But it was different for me than it was for you
Because, in that time, I found out I really did love you
And, oh, God, how I wish
I could have told you

I never did get the chance
Because I never thought I'd run out of time
But the day came when you collapsed
And I caught you in my arms

I waited for hours in that hospital
Hoping for the best
And the doctor came out
And told me the surgery had been a success

There had been bleeding in your brain
And the doctors fixed it
But then came the bad news--
Oh, what horrible news it was!

The doctors found a tumor
Inside that smart head of yours
And they said you wouldn't live
To be much older

I held your hand in silence
As you told me not to worry
Tears streamed down my face
As you told me that I would get over you
Because you knew that you would die
And you were right
Because you didn't live through
That cold rainy night

Now I place these flowers on your grave
And i whisper to you,
"You were right,
I didn't love you at first,
But now I do,
And I will never get over you,
Because you were my friend,
My most beloved friend..."



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