March 3, 2011
Staying at home forever and ever
Without knowing the day of the week or the outside weather.
I lay in my bed imagining what could be, instead of thinking about the unknown illness that has come over me.
I try and try to remember what it was like to feel well
There are images in my mind but, when those pictures took place, I can’t tell.
I see smiles, I hear laughing, there’s the bright sun, the blue sky, and then it’s back to reality and my red, teary eye.
The memories fade away and there’s nothing but a fog
I lift my eyes open again and my blood is being drawn.
I dread to hear the words that my doctor begins to say, “We still don’t know what’s wrong, we don’t know if you’ll be okay.”
The watery tears fall from my eyes once more, as the open opportunity of being normal again, is now a closed door.
The words “why me?” tremble off of my tongue
I cry out, “This isn’t fair, it’s not right, I’m much too young!”
There is frustration built up that no one can see
I feel as though I’m not being heard, no one is listening to me.
I hope that one day my voice will be loud enough and be heard
Until that great day comes, “sorry” will be the doctor’s only word.
There’s built up stress, hurt, sadness and strife
And I’m buried in an unknown illness that I feel has taken over my life.

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