Just a Rebound

February 27, 2011
By pianoman95 BRONZE, Eatonville, Washington
pianoman95 BRONZE, Eatonville, Washington
4 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty.


I remember the worst week of my life,
Comforting you, helping you recover,
I could have cut the tension with a knife.

Your words were an echo; the effects remain to be seen
Reverberating inside me, piercing my heart,
That moment was simple and clean.

I thought I was dreaming, it couldn’t be real,
You were the first, to make me feel,
This was love, not some movie reel.

That’s when I said, “I want to be your lover.”
I loved you as a whole, not just a part,
I didn’t think, about that certain other.

And when I finally made a move,
Your reflex was violent, your actions recorded on my skin,
Your anger reflected in my glassy stare, I’m still lost, yet to be found.
I was just a rebound.


The author's comments:
Wrote this poem for an English assignment, and I kind of liked the way it turned out but it still needs work. Would like some feedback on what I could do to make it better.

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This article has 4 comments.


on Apr. 1 at 6:24 pm
Miss_Steak SILVER, Ashland, Ohio
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments
I love how you captured the euphoria of love and ended it with the blunt "I was a rebound." I think maintaining the a,b,c,a formation in most of your stanzas would help. And also getting rid of the extra eel in your third stanza, since the others don't have it. And potentially using feel instead of the real followed by another reel. :)

on Mar. 23 2011 at 11:49 pm
salt_n_pepper SILVER, Seattle, Washington
5 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Kindness is just love with it's work-boots on!
-Shelly(The House Bunny)

yo welcome! :D

on Mar. 22 2011 at 10:33 pm
pianoman95 BRONZE, Eatonville, Washington
4 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty.

Aww thanks Dom! :)

on Mar. 22 2011 at 6:13 pm
salt_n_pepper SILVER, Seattle, Washington
5 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Kindness is just love with it's work-boots on!
-Shelly(The House Bunny)

that was great! i could never tell you how it should be changed because i didn't write it, and it didn't come from my heart. but again, great poem!


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