Housekeeping!!

February 25, 2011
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Yes we can.



A simple statement to show you who I really am

I don’t have to make a statement about you

You make a statement about you when you leave a message on my phone that simply says:



goodbye.

And you let the world make a statement for you

when they flip to the discovery channel to find a blessed statue of you on my doorstep,

because that’s how much I meant to you

And the thing is, they made you affordable by putting you on the local channels

Now they hit home runs with their ratings like Mickey Mantle

To all of my heroes I raise one candle

To the one I look up and see walking in sandals

I say thank you god, thank you for putting your face on the television

I say I wish I had the television. Think about your television. The only vision I have is bad vision...



But there is this one vision I do have

Today I visioned they put you on cnn instead

Maybe I was thinking about all the people that didn’t want to see you diminished on fox news

or maybe the people that did want to see you on fox, but couldn’t,

because they would have had to pay an additional 14.99 a month collectively a month

See one reporter curse Obama from the backseat; you lie! enough is enough



… So I’m giving my vote to Donald Trump



Wait, did you just say Donald Trump?

Isn’t he just a lesser version of Ron Paul?

You want a true commander and chief?

That's too bad. We got rid of chiefs a long time ago

And if you’re lucky enough to find one you can see them grazing in the confined pasture

So that they don’t come near my priest and pastor

We replaced their sacred land with Nascar tracks, and we cheer them on faster baby faster !

And I’m no Twister, but I did set the world record for most references to natural disasters in one line: Hurricane Chris.

Give reverence to who brought you this

Earth Wind and Fire first kindled that desire

Now you can find me in the club; holla abaybay!

From the abaybay down to the abyss



To the family that I may never miss



When the radio briefed me I had been their 9th caller

I asked my mom can I be rich and not have to be baller?

Can I play NBA 5 foot 5 and not an inch taller?

That’s when she gently cupped her hand over the speaker

She said money spread like disease: Andrew Speaker

So she whispered in my ear

You think this is loud enough so only you and I can hear?

When you look at me you see me shine like a chandelier

But although things seem it doesn’t mean like they appear

I watch the old man sip on his last can of beer:



Boy let me tell you something sometimes this world just don’t make sense

And if you don’t make dollars then you can't make cents


Look at me close enough can you see the dents?



I called the radio station back; why?

I lost control,

effing effing effing bleeping bleeping bleeping


Oops!

I meant beeping

Like my iphone

Say you have facetime


This poem has something that you don’t have


Baseline.


And I can make hotlines that rhyme at the same time



Like the housekeeping hotline:



"Hi Hello, and thank you for shopping at Modern Slavery, may I take your order?

We have Housekeepers of all ages and colors

Housekeepers that clean and stay in the kitchen like your mother

Housekeepers make your room at day and make your world at night

We have Housekeepers so good they slip you one of those little chocolates under your door at night, so when you wake up you find a little chocolate with a written note attached: Housekeeping!!!

With all of the exclamation points at the end

We have Housekeepers that will be your best friend

Housekeepers with other Housekeepers to lend

Only 9.99 extra!

We have Housekeeping that comes up to clean your room late at night for 20 minutes,

and then calls Housekeeping to clean it up again



*Housekeepers are not responsible if your door is left open and we find your pretty things*




Wait



I can handle my own business

I guess the hardest part when it comes to business is just minding your very own

So don’t you dare touch my business

Unless, of course, you wanna touch my business ?

They say there is no business like show business

And show business is everywhere to witness

Back in my day, god was my witness

Back in my day, there wasn’t a Cleveland Cavalier slogan that read ‘Quitness’

Let me worry about my own fitness

Back in my day, I was my own housekeeper

But god is still my witness

And I am still my own housekeeper

As my poetry heals all sickness





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