Agonizing Sensibility

February 15, 2011
By , San Antonio, TX
Someone once told me
that life is full of wonders and that one day
i will be able to share my childhood with my children,
but what am i suppose to tell them?
Do i tell them about all the pain
i went through because it felt like a bullet came from miles away,
punctured through my heart,
twisted up inside me,
leaving a hole as big as my fist.
So i can feel solitary in this place we call earth.
I felt like the whole world was going to turn against me,
even though there was nothing i could have done,
nothing to have made him stay,
to make him put his last drink down,
or to even tell him to give up his keys so he couldn't leave.
Everything is killing me inside,
but no one understood.
No one will ever understand
that the tears that came running down my cheeks
didn't come from anyone special
but a young girl who was so impeccable
and all she wanted was to say good-bye.
But that's it.
I am done realizing that the person
I called my second father is dead,
gone, deceased, pulse-less ,
taken from his body, taken from this world.
Now all is left is his soul,
his charming father-like soul
hovering over his body
as well as the memories that will last a life time.
I just never knew that in a blink of an eye
someone can be drifted into the bright white light
that leads to a so called "better place".
While we are stuck in this colorless world with this agonizing sensibility.
So I'm here telling you that no matter who is in your life,
cherish every moment with them,
for that reason you never know when a flash is going to come
and take it all away from you.
Because he was a wonder in my life.

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