I came to your funeral.
I wanted to say goodbye.
The song that they played almost made me cry.
It was your favorite and I knew it well.
Flowers were everywhere.
I didn’t notice and I didn’t care.
All I could do was stare.
You were laying there.
Dressed in white.
Your favorite dress.
The one that you wore on our first date.
When I had asked you were you wanted to go you didn’t even have to think.
Fort Desoto beach at sunset.
Then the mourners went to look upon your face
As I walked by, I couldn’t even cry.
I couldn’t believe you weren’t alive.
Your father thanked me for coming.
And your mother gave me a hug while she cried.
They closed the casket and nailed it shut.
With every pound of the hammer, it felt like they were smashing my heart.
They put you in a hearse and drove you away.
I followed after through the pouring rain.
We stopped at the cemetery and I got out.
There weren't many people standing about.
The pastor said a few words.
I remembered what it was like before you died.
They dug a hole and put you in.
I wanted to scream and yell at them.
They were burying my life.
They couldn’t take you away.
Your family and friends laid calla lilies on your grave.
Your favorite flower.
Your tombstone read;
“Gone to her eternal home.
Beloved daughter,
Sister,
Companion,
Friend.
She leaves us now to be with her Savior.”
I stood there and stared as they all walked away.
Your mother patted me on the back and said I didn’t have to stay.
The last car drove out of sight.
I walked into the rain and knelt down beside your grave.
I laid down my flower.
A single blood red rose on a bed of white lilies.
You told me once that you always dreamt about receiving a rose.
I’m sorry I didn’t make that dream come true before it was too late.
I know you’re with Jesus and I wish I could be there too.
You’re happier there but I wish you hadn’t gone.
The hole you left behind can never be filled.
I loved you more than life.
And now more than death.
I wish I could turn around and see you standing there.
Smiling my favorite smile like you used too.
You would run into my arms and I would never let go.
All the times we had together were the best times of my life.
No one saw it coming.
No one could believe it was true.
That the gunman had actually shot you.
You were so happy.
So perfect.
So alive.
But now you’re gone.
You were like a meteor shooting across my sky.
But now you have fallen over the horizon.
I don’t even notice the stars anymore.
I sat by your grave till midnight had come and gone.
We used to watch the stars together.
So many things that remind me of you.
I doubt I could forget you even if I wanted too.
I might move on sometime.
Someday.
Only because I know you would want me too.
So I will go on living.
I will smile again, someday.
I will remember you but move on too.
But I will forever be looking forward to the day Jesus reunites me and you.