The [Stand In] Companion

February 18, 2011
By lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
40 articles 5 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live Life Like A Party That Never Ends


All I want is
Someone
With whom
To share
The details with

Carefully listening
Giving my life
Meaning and purpose
Knowing that all
Will not be forgotten

Making me feel
Importance in
All that I do
Giving recognition
Where it is desired

Taking my hand
Walking with me
Day by day
Filling in
The missing spaces

Someone on whom
I can rely
When I have lost myself
To find and gather
All my broken pieces

A temporary being
Here to take
The place of
A love lost
Long ago

Alone I will
Never be
So long as
I have you here
For the time being


The author's comments:
You can take this as a friendship, but I had originally meant for this to be about a relationship where all they want is someone to go along through their day with so they don't go unnoticed.

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This article has 5 comments.


Hotaru said...
on Apr. 4 2011 at 4:09 pm
I think that your poem is very nice and almost everyone should able to relate to this at some point in thier lives. You did a great job at getting your point across!

on Apr. 3 2011 at 5:04 pm
Zaylie PLATINUM, Everett, Washington
24 articles 13 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's not the kind, the kind you take about it's just the kind that rips the clothing off your mind." -Flyleaf
"You feet in the air, Your head on the ground Try this trick and spin it yeah Your head will colapse when there's nothing it in."-Pixies

This one I'm writing a comment even though I didn't give it a five.

 

I like this. I get the idea that your trying get across in a way. But In some ways I'm still very confused. And I like that about this poem. I think the reason I'm confused is that the background of the poem is a complete mystery to me.


AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 2 2011 at 7:58 pm
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 608 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

Taking my hand
Walking with me
Day by day
Filling in
The missing spaces

I LOVE that stanza!!!!!! haha now to the critique.

 

This poem left me feeling like I often feel when I get done reading proffessional poetry - impressed and more than a little confused.  Don't get me wrong - that's not a critisism.  I don't have a poetic mind, so when I say "confused", what you should be hearing is "your poem is deep and poetic enough to fluster a very literal person, and that's AWESOME."  That being said, I did have one critisism, and that's the flow.  It seems kind of choppy the way you have it formatted.  Maybe you intended it that way - I know I've done that before. :)  Overall, very good job!


leafy said...
on Mar. 31 2011 at 7:42 pm
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion. 
Ernest Hemingway: I hate it. 
Gil: You haven't even read it yet. 
Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it. If it's good, then I'll be envious and hate it even more. You don't want the opinion of another writer. 

i thought this poem was very good, i could connect to it a lot and im sure many other teens can too. the only thing that bothers me is you use the word "being" twice, but overall poem was great. keep up the good work!

on Mar. 20 2011 at 9:41 pm
J-Poetry-R SILVER, Enterprise, Alabama
6 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My greatest writings are on the pages of life"
- J-Poetry-R

deep, that was really good and i think alot of teenagers can relate


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