An ode to things never to be understood | Teen Ink

An ode to things never to be understood

February 10, 2011
By Anonymous

And now I can’t sleep
Because of the things you’ve done behind closed doors.
But now of course, you don’t have a door any more
And everything is out.

No one knows what to do to help any more
I’m past the point of pitying you.
And I’m past the point of trusting you
Or believing anything you’ve ever said or say.
Now it only makes me angry
And I don’t know what to do any more.

A million things going through my head
Why does this have to be a constant part of our life?
Why does it get to a point that we are okay,
Only for this to show up again
Why am I afraid to come home when it comes to life again,
Not knowing what will happen next
But as soon as things become okay
It shows back up.
Every time.

Do you even care any more?
Don’t you get tired of watching her cry
But you wouldn’t know anything about it
Because it’s me who has to watch
Who must hold her and apologize for your actions
If it were me, I couldn’t hurt her
If I were doing something that hurt my family, the people who loved me,
It would stop
The first tear, if it took even that much
Would have been my incentive.
So I’m only led to believe that not even we matter any more.

This is your decision, and only you can stop it.
We wish you would
We plead with you
We try to show you all that you have.

The life you have
The life you could have
And the life you’ve chosen to pursue.
Is this really what you want?
It was your choice, you could’ve said no.
There was a point where you could’ve given up
And you still believe you can.
But if this doesn’t make you want to give it up
You have a problem
And all I can think about it this is only the beginning.
The tip of the iceberg
And that is probably what scares me the most.

And the only question I have now is,

The author's comments:
I have alot of things going on in my life. This was inspired by a true event, and expresses my feelings towards it. At the time I was furious and needed an outlet. Having just started my creative writing class I turned to writing and found an amazing way to focus my negative energies on something more constructive.

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