This is Me | Teen Ink

This is Me

February 16, 2011
By WolfcommaGray SILVER, Odenton, Maryland
WolfcommaGray SILVER, Odenton, Maryland
7 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Stuck in the middle,
a place not to be.
Angry yet happy,
alas, it's me

Too normal for bipolar,
too calm to be uptight;
too insane to be ordinary,
too wrong to be right

I just can't explain it,
I'm too shallow for that.
I can't put words to
the sanity I lack

Frustration pent up,
denial building inside,
somewhere along the line,
I won't be able to hide

Believe me, I'm honest.
(Or was that a lie?)
I go from joyful and happy
to drinking tears that I cry

High off of life,
drunk from my hate.
Pointless to mention,
no one relates

Silence, they say,
is the loudest sound heard.
So, is it better,
to not utter a word?

Instinct or logic?
The heart or the mind?
Forgetting myself,
I'll leave it behind

Trust only what comes,
trust not what I think.
Two knights inside of me,
fighting on the brink

Do I follow the heart?
Do I follow the mind?
"Love!" "Logic!"
(That's the daily grind.)

Do I listen to words
my head will pronounce?
Do I let my heart
take a shot and pounce?

(Inside, I don't care
what either do.
All I seem to want
is making it through.

Decisive yet not,
I don't get a word.
The cries of the fighters--
that's all I've heard.)

Edgy and cautious,
yet loose and carefree;
does anyone know
what I'll come to be?

Corrupt me, I beg;
deceive me, I plead.
Erase my outline
so the colors will bleed

In my nature?
Forget that phrase;
one day, I swear,
this will number my days

On the outside, I'm me;
on the inside, no clue.
Maybe I'll be greater
than anyone knew

Right now, however,
I wish I could write
how I want to achieve
a great height

Right now, again,
I wish you could see
how nobody's descriptions
really fit "me"

Spare me your lecture,
allow me to express,
although your understanding
grows less and less

Like a snake bite
just below the knee.
The toxin's in me now;
will I ever be free?

A ripple on the surface
(a tidal wave deep down)
It's curious how you
never said a sound

Perhaps I'm a skeptic,
but do you care?
In the end, I think,
no one is there

Redraw the lines,
sketch over my art,
I still don't know
if this is from mind or heart

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