Smear

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The pen balanced between my fingers tells me to write.
Is there any other way to put it?
The voice in my head tells me to scream.
Can I punch someone instead?
Numb numb.
The pain is too much to handle.
I have to stop wishing you dead.
Its just replaying memories in my head.
All senses were active.
My heart was frosting over with a thick layer of hate.
My name you whispered.
And it's my name I hate.
Sleep you desire and heat you crave.
I lay with ice in my pillow and stay awake.
You like white.
Black.
Hugs and kisses make you happy.
I withdraw from touch.
You trust me too much.
You think I wont tell.
I don’t trust you and you shouldn’t as well.
Stay away and keep back if you even breathe my way I'll attack.
Have patience and good will come.
It's not coming fast enough.
So I stalk the prey and wait for days.
In and out time weaves on.
I know you like I know myself.
Heartbeat.
Fear.
Number one.
I grab your fear.
Smear the ink
I drop the pen.
THE END





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