My pupils drown the world in black,
As they expand over the colors of my eyes.
I wanna cry – “I’m not going back,
To that time, to those lies,
And I’m going to be so much more,
More than I would let myself be.”
It’s not like it was before,
And that life I had, it’s not me.
I think I might be someone new.
I think I might be someone whole.
After everything I’ve done and gone through,
It didn’t take its final toll.
Being alive is all good and well.
But sometimes life can take different forms,
Like as your own private hell.
Each moment to horror transforms.
I close my eyes, my black-turned eyes,
They’re open wide to see,
The time-line of my life, I realize,
Led not-so-perfectly.
But it led to something more; to this.
I’m content; I’m more than that, too.
I know that a reason for me exists.
The reason, I found in you.
I found my reason for why I’m here,
In the friends I can love through trial.
I can say to them, and be sincere,
They are the reason I smile.
The reason I laugh and sing so loud,
I dance and dream; I LOVE!
Of my voice and dance, I’m not proud,
And I know, I mentioned it a few times above,
BUT FOR ONCE, in so long, so rare.
I’m loving again, loving true.
I’d forgotten what it felt like, to care.
I found out in loving you.
Texting late after hours scared away tears,
Nightmares that would invade.
With a team of friends, that disappears.
And I? I’m no longer afraid.
With my eyes open wide,
With my friends held dear,
Why should I be scared?
This is why I am here.