Black Ice

February 5, 2011
Custom User Avatar
More by this author
Stone cold heart
Sheathed in a hard layer of ice.
So thick a covering,
Nothing can penetrate
This protective shield.
An empty black abyss
With nothing left to give away.
Isolated deep within its closed cavity,
Sealed shut and never to be opened,
Frozen for all of eternity.
A gorgeous nightmare
Shining like crystals in the moonlight.
Barely visible but nonetheless dangerous,
As it sinks below into the depths
Of a bitter winters night.
Love will no longer melt
Your iced black heart.





Join the Discussion

This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

Ethereal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 30, 2011 at 7:48 am
the poem is so dark, It sort of made my stomach drop as I read it- I really like "frozen for all eternity" line, It flows well for a non-ryme poem, but kind of gives me chills- only one thing ( the "barely visible" line seems a tad long.
 
Afanen This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 9, 2011 at 1:13 pm
This is lovely, I especially like the 'gorgeous nightmare' line. Two things: a) 'winters night' ought to be 'winter's night,' and I think the 'so thick…' line (just the one) is a little clunky and could use some editing.
 
emma0314 said...
Mar. 21, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Very nice! I can tell that you really care about what you are writing :)
 
Camii said...
Mar. 13, 2011 at 1:07 pm
I liked it!! It's really good! I like how it describes the heart and then it says : love will no longer melt your iced black heart.
 
TwinDemons said...
Mar. 6, 2011 at 5:46 pm
I could really feel a shiver. I love this one its wonderful. I gave it five stars!!! Good work.
 
NailsForBreakfast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 27, 2011 at 10:09 am
the last two lines.... wow. I especially love the line "A gorgeous nightmare". The flow reminds me slightly of staccato, which I love reading, and it works nicely. All of the lines are mature and seem like they were given great amounts of thought. Five stars :)
 
ChrisinTechnicolor said...
Feb. 26, 2011 at 11:13 am

Imagery is good and the flow is nice.

The poem itself is straightforward and easy to understand. You're a talented young lady -- keep up the good work.(:

 
Medina D. said...
Feb. 23, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Oh my gosh!! This piece is so pretty and mysterious!! You truly know how to weave words into your grasp and turn them into true poetry.

i was lost in your magical words!! They've got power, because they sure are powerful!!

 
Jule92xc said...
Feb. 22, 2011 at 11:01 pm
I really thought the last two lines were incredibly powerful. "Love will no longer melt/Your iced black heart." I think this is one of your best poems =]
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback