February 6, 2011
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I can't handle this anymore.
The Wondering.
What are you doing?
Have you made a stupid mistake?

Most likely the answer is yes.
Because your Stupid.
But hey, your full of surprises, so maybe the answer is no.

That is what EVERYONE says.
Eventually, we will talk again. Eventually, we will start again. Eventually, we can live happily ever after.

Eventually my butt.

I'm not going to wonder anymore, while your off in your world living it up.
and only God knows what else.

And I'm here.

Wasting my time tapping on glass, watching letters form into words.

Your Stupid.
I'm Stupid.

Here i am talking about you when you probably don't even remember me.
You and your short memory.

You probably forgot the inside jokes.
Those moments of intimacy.
The way you felt when we'd look at each other from across the room and laugh.

ya, you forgot.
And to think I was your "First Love".

You hurt me,
Broke me,
and got me so mad.

Who does that to a person they quote unquote once "loved".
I'm bearly realizing how pitiful this is..

Your doing IT, feeling good, being a "Man",
and I'm here forgetting who I use to be.

I won't be your victum.
I won't be your toy.
I was once a player, and now, it's my turn.

I will forgive and I will forget.
Your not worth it now.

And to be honest, I want you to understand that you messed up, and I want to believe you will feel like your missing something amoungst all your bliss.
And I want to believe that you'll realize its me.
I want you to remember who you use to be.
In a way, I want you to man up and fight for me.
But you wont...
You have it better now because you are free.
You have a girl that will do anything.
We never got to see each other, but you can always see her.

In a bitter-sweet way, I'm happy because your happy.
Knowing your smiling always made my day.
I was p***ed to see you leave,
and upset to watch you go.
I'm sad because I miss you.
Why did you go?

Oh Wow.
Here I go again.
I need to put this device down.

I think I can handle it now.

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