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Music fades to our synchronized sighs of relief.
Time to let this frenzied dance die out,
To reach out hands.
And close our eyes,
And say, “we made it.”
I know, I made you wait for me,
Wait as I stubbornly raced towards
A finish line that didn’t exist,
Almost welcoming the opportunity to be separated,
To be lost in this distorted maze,
Waiting to catch a glimpse of you
Through the tangled silver groves.
And sometimes I would run to you,
Let you hold me,
Whisper my name.
Who knew when we would get another chance,
When we’d be shoved apart again by a pane of cold, indifferent glass?
But sometimes I would turn,
Run from that familiar shape,
The well-loved contours of your mind,
Lose myself between the trees.
Sometimes I would hide,
So sure that if you held me,
I’d stay there forever,
Afraid that if you spoke,
I might end up answering.
Being with you meant a world of self-loathing,
So unfamiliar, so full of simple feeling.
Every word was poignant,
Every kiss so achingly sweet.
How could I be expected to stay,
Even for you?
And so I would hide.
In the branches, out of sight,
I could hear you calling me.
I made you endure those panicked moments of separation
While I searched for an ending that’s always been
Back at the beginning with you.
But I’m here now,
At the end of our aimless waltz,
Just in time for happily ever after.
I’m here now,
Strong enough to admit
That I’m too weak to keep running.
Strong enough to let you hold me,
And maybe whisper your name, too.
Strong enough to say:
You are sunlight and summer,
Sanctuary and solitude,
Passion and devotion.