Letter To My Ten Year Old Self

January 26, 2011
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I want to travel back in time,
When life was less complicated.
I want to meet the girl
That I once was.
I would greet her, ‘cause I know she’d
Be in need of a friend.
I would take her in my scarred arms
And tell her
What he does to you is not okay.
It’s not your fault, my small baby.
Hold me tighter sweetheart,
I won’t let him touch you again.
He can’t come close because I’m your friend.
Now take my hand, and never let go.
This heart of ours will mend.
I’ll save you from that demon knocking on the door.
Don’t worry he can’t hurt you anymore.
Never be fooled by that endearing smile,
Come with me and we’ll walk a while.
Clear that young mind from these adult questions
The ones to which you will never know the answers.
You are so lonely, sweet one.
No one was home to help you,
But don’t grow up too soon.
The way I know you want to.
I will save you from yourself
And those wall that crumble around you.
Inside you.
Put down that razor and lift up your voice.
It will prove to be your best weapon yet.
You are too young to hurt like this.
But have no fear
The older you is right here.
I’ll spend forever with you,
If that’s what it takes.
For you to heal and feel real again.
Your shadow was your only companion.
The one that couldn’t disappoint you.
In time you will learn that
Those closest to you
Are usually the ones that hurt you the most.
The words carved on your body are not true.
Sometimes you are better off being alone.
Runaway from here.
You shouldn’t be taught that this hell is home.
However coming to terms with the things already transpired
Means knowing they can never go away.
Really you never can runaway
And it’s okay to feel the fear.
That’s what I would say to her if I could.
The hard truth is,
That girl is perpetually alone in her time.
A girl that forever walks alone.
A girl that will never grow up.

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