His blue eyes captivate me
The way they seem so empty and so
full at the same time
The way they beg for the answers I
can't provide.
I love the way his hair feels
Shaping delicately under my finger
tips
And I love seeing his mouth
Turn up in a smile at my horrible
jokes
His cheeks feel so soft
Yet rough at the same time
He had shaved and stubble had
already begun to grow in its place
I love his laugh.
Demonic though it be, it has a
husky ring to it
And I adore his hands
So strong and reassuring
And gentle
With the way he hold my fingers to
his chest
I can feel his heartbeat through
his t-shirt
Steady, calm, and firm
I'm not supposed to feel this way.
It's wrong
It's bad

It feels so right
All those old emoptions resurfacing
I'm struggling to hold them back
He can't EVER know how I feel
I don't want to complicate things
But I can't bury them

I'm older now
More mature
I'm supposed to be a lesbian
So why do I feel this way for HIM
Dare I say it
Why do I
Love him again?...

His lips searched mine for answers
Pressing
Asking

Reluctant
I had no answers
I didn't know what to do
I felt myself kiss him back
I felt myself give in
Then he let me go.
My wall flew back up
I couldn't do that again

Men are bad
Men are bad
Men are bad

So why is he soooo good
I can't kiss him again
Too many conflicting emotions
But do I want to kiss him again
Love him again?...
God help me
Do I love him again?...
My wall is beginning to crumble
Do I want it to fall?
Risk everything again?...