January 30, 2011
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It's hard to write about things that I'd rather not be.
Rather not know.
Rather not feel.
But I must.
It's the best way to find yourself when lost, or so they tell me.
We shall see, here I go...

I'm afraid.
Afraid of what you ask?
But most of all--myself.
I have the power to be silent.
To say I can't or won't.
To build brick walls higher and higher.
But I could also tear them down.
Or should I say I can?
It makes me tired just imagining it.
Even though it would be wonderful.
They say you learn through trials.
And it's true, I have.
But I don't want to know anymore...
It's changing me.
And not for the better.
I want to be the girl I was.
To rewind this horror film--
But even then,
It would never be the same.

I'm already changed.

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