I confess-
You never hit, never abused
But I still feel beaten down
by your lies.
Like the night you told me you
Thought of jumping off the bridge.
I was young.
Clueless to the fact that you are
a coward.
With child-like faith I believed
Maybe you would jump.
I gave into your need for pity
Even at the suspene of you
Raping my mind, my emotions
The water stains on pillows sing
Of desperate attempts at release.
And I confess
That I blame you.
And I confess
That I have failed to let go.
And I confess
That I still remember thos nights
When the fighting sounds felt like
Home.
I remember the way you yelled
Putting her down, and stripping
Away any self-worth that remained.
And then on Sunday, bowing before
Christ and putting on a show.
And I confess
That I don't want to hate you.
And I confess
That sometimes I think I do.
And I confess
That I'm praying on broken hands
That I won't.
I confess-
That your "I'm so sorry" makes
Me feel sick.
That the tears haven't left my eyes
And when I think of you I think
Of nothing but lies.
I confess....