A Lesson Never Learned

January 28, 2011
I step surreptitiously out of my hiding
I scramble for air
A breeze
To caress my heated cheek
I hold bare roots of the grass
Now free of my once imprisonment
Of the dark hole of my own doing
Tears dripped down the creases of my cheek
As I am lost in the confusion of my new world
Full of joy and light
Yet the fear of a metamorphosis
Daunts me as I absorbed the new surroundings of my mind
How to breathe in a place full of air
How to step where there is always ground
How to touch when there is always something to feel
How to listen where there is always sweet music chiming
The typical cherished moments of life
To me are horrors
A row of mirrors
Without knowing the original person
A wave of panic crashes throughout my body
Trembling as never before
It was once a gleaming thought
To embark on a new adventure
Of the stormy seas of triumph and pride
Yet I have drowned
Lost at sea
Surrounded by emotions
Drowning me in the depths
Of the abyss
Dragging me under the tides and currents of this new world
I struggle to surface
But the dark is gone
There is nowhere for me to hide
From failures that are present
The shadows that I have walked in
And have slept
Have receded in the glistening light
Of a new prospect
A new soul
A new start
However the thoughts of failure
Have stormed the once serene seas
And so I step back into the hole of my mind
I allow the darkness to seep back in
The tides
And the senses
And emotions
Have disappeared in the once rattling waters of my conscience
All there is
Is darkness
And now at last
I feel safe
And now the waters have settled

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