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isn't real you know

searching, searching for something
anything
a half used napkin
a crumpled receipt
upon which to relieve myself
of the imprint of deceit
oh yes! I found it
and I begin with
words and words just something
because the only way I live uncensored
is by the pencil in my hand
and the paper on the table
paper being the only trees I use
to avoid my stress….
And then I’m done
And I breathe oxygen into
My shrunken corpse
But them I turn over the paper
And see its tonight’s homework


Nooooo!

A jolt from a dream
An unaccepted scream
As I am ripped beneath the shadow lands
Of my gray penciled artwork
And back into the real world
Of calculations that mean nothing

0
Not even recognized as a real number
I fill every blank line
With a ‘place holder’ as bleak
As my very existence on this earth

And I hate myself even more
For every unspoken word
As I erase the truth on
The flip side of reality
And will out the name s section
With every letter lie
That confirms my identity
To those who don’t know me



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