A poor soul

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Your whirlpool keeps sucking me in
With a vortex of the strongest currents
Dragging me deeper into a web of sin
Giving me your greatest assurance

I'm walking out of this world forever
Marching through love's dark forest
And through the gates of everlasting sorrow
To oblivion where my life will be the shortest

I'm reaching through the outer regions of my soul
Where the least bit of security lies and wakes
Ambiguity strikes my emotions match and dies out slow
As I cross the universe with a heart ready to break

On the souls longest journey I have calmed many seas
I have tamed many fierce flames
I've played enough childish games
Now I am ready to unlock your heart with the pivotal key!

Love though, is such a risky business
That such a perilous journey is asinine!
Most gems are not as shiny or finesse
when you spend your life's fortunes on them
Love is an invisible diamond that can make a man blind





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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

midnitewanderer said...
Feb. 11, 2011 at 5:51 pm

This is a beautifully written poem. There are so many good words like: pivotal, vortex, asinine, finesse and oblivion. I would tell you my favorite stanza but i liked all of them! I think you do a good job at keeping your reader sucked into your poem. I will definitely look at your other poems if you have any.

Keep Writing=]

 
Jay P. replied...
Feb. 11, 2011 at 7:08 pm
thanks!  that means a lot to me seeing that its beginning to become hard to write with school and work and everything.  keep reading and recommend me or talk me up or something! haha but really thanks for what you said it gives me the will to keep going
 
midnitewanderer replied...
Feb. 11, 2011 at 8:23 pm
Your welcome! Ughhh i know what you mean, i use to write a lot on my free time but i just don't have much time anymore 
 
midnitewanderer replied...
Feb. 11, 2011 at 9:04 pm
oooh and if u have time it'd b cul if u culd check out sum of my stuff... i have 2 poems up as of now, but i'm not 2 excited about them so i've been wanting to upload sum more but yah if u could just comment that'd b great=]
 
Jay P. replied...
Feb. 12, 2011 at 9:57 am
ok ill defintely check em out
 
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