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Summer mind

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My sun kissed skin is heated
The August weather is killing
Water hit's my fingers
drenches my every thought.
Roll of the tin
to the green blue liquid
fall in for a second,
I'll drift back up again.
Reflect of the moment
but manage to stay in touch
with the cooling seconds
that never seem long enough
I know it will return
But I'll only live this day once.
Wish i could stay in summer,
wish i could craze forever,
whats not to love?
But one of the best things about fantasy
Is that you still have reality
to fall back on, when nothing works out.
So now I'll maybe fall down, down to the water
But I'll quite my fantasy,
when i want it to be over




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PaigeStreetThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 3:57 pm:
Hehe. I like it. The syllabery was metrical. And that last line was perfect. Unfortunately, the only rhythm here comes from the syllables. It couldn't hurt to use some division of feet and alliteration, more like your first line- that one was my favorite. 
 
Lyrics replied...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 12:18 am :
Ya i agree, ill have to work on that. thanks :)
 
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