A short caring note for relief

January 19, 2011
By J.Montes BRONZE, Lexington, Nebraska
J.Montes BRONZE, Lexington, Nebraska
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Through these endless days I never really thought about what happened between you and I
A quick ending shot in essence
Nevertheless we both felt it for a long time,
I recall the day when I found things out for me
The simple words with little to no definition
until I gave them a purpose…

The dry barks of these trees in this park
Mixed with the oddly kitschy leaves
Although they were usually very beautiful at this time of fall.
I’m sitting here after the longest practice I’ve ever had this year for cross country team
10 solid miles
Sounds like the good old varsity run
I take out my notebook and start writing for the tenth time today
Trying to think of words that might have an impact of how you feel of me
But four months of you being my past lover in proportions
Things have become strained
then I saw you leave the high school from your practice too
I almost fell down with a sigh so heavy it can lift titanium
So I wrote this
My final entry in this lost notebook
The last note I ever wrote to you,

No matter, you’re still here…
Still here despite our iced words
Despite our tears
Despite the look in your eyes
I can moan and groan and complain about your existence
But you won’t leave my life
It’s all because of how much I cared
You saw it
I can say the most beautifully hateful things
But you know that it is a mask
It hides the guy who used to shine through
He hides behind it
Trying to heal new wounds
Which are mere scrapes of the hollow muscular organ that pumps blood through my body
Nothing that I could not have fixed on my own
But still
My inexperience told me to act in a cursed rejection
I still hold back
For in a very stupid saying
A saying so inept that I can’t imagine that these three words aren’t in exile for the simplicity and powerful meanings.
Te quiero
Je t'aime
Or in a language you can understand
The word meaning a very strong affection
Strong liking
Something eliciting enthusiasm for you
Love
yes the one word of all damnation
The word that all the heavens proclaim and the underworld deny
Love
It’s what I have for you
No presents
No special jewelry or another trivial item
Love is all I have for you
And I hope it’s all you need…

The author's comments:
I wrote this originally as a joke, believe it or not. Soon I found that I wrote about something that was actually happening in my life. I was hurt i suppose, but that happens a lot nowadays. This was my first real poem. I am still reluctant to send it to the original reason for the start of my writing. I don't really expect anyone to get anything from it, it is just another love story. Call it modesty or bashfulness, but it's just me reliving another event.

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