Pistachio Shells

January 25, 2011
By mariewonderlandx SILVER, Rochester Hills, Michigan
mariewonderlandx SILVER, Rochester Hills, Michigan
6 articles 0 photos 5 comments

He digs a boney thumb




Deep into hot sand.
Laughing.


Squishing
a n t s.




They are all so innocent.





And to think that now I am making them coffins out of pistachio




shells.


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This article has 2 comments.


on Feb. 8 2011 at 8:18 am
mariewonderlandx SILVER, Rochester Hills, Michigan
6 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Hey!  Thanks so much, I appreciate the feedback.  

Yes, there are two people in this poem; myself and my old friend.

It is a childhood memory poems it is indeed in past tense.


on Feb. 7 2011 at 11:44 pm
FeedTheBirds SILVER, San Diego, California
6 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Love the first stanza. the "a n t s" is brilliant.

Question: Is there a narrator POV shift here? At first it is "he" killing the ants and then "I" making the coffins (out of shells which I LOVED). Are you implying there are two people there? Or is this a past/present scenario?

while I love the poem, these questions did frustrate me.

Can I just say again that I love your voice and await more of your work.



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