My Deepest Darkest Secret

January 23, 2011
I bow down to your every move
And listen to your every command
I dare not talk back or anger you
For I only wish to be your friend

If you found out that I hated you
If my secret feelings were let out instead of held in
If I dare tell you how I feel every time I think of you
And how your name and face sickens me
Then why would you want to be my friend?

I hate you and wish you knew
Your evil and mean
And that's not me
So I can't let you become apart of me

But if you knew this you wouldn't dare be my friend
You'd throw me away and forget all the times we spent together
you'd spit on the ground I walk on
And you would never be my friend

So I have to trudge on each day
Smiling when I see your face
Laughing at the times we spend together
When secretly I hate being in your presence

You treat me like dirt and I want to be done with it
But I can't tell you this
I can't tell my deepest darkest secret to you best friend
For if I did you'd be gone in a flash and a new girl would take my place

You don't really care about me
You just love the way I bow down to your every will
Your power hungry and vicious best friend

And if I were to tell you that I'd disappear from this earth
Invisible from life
I'd go back to being a friendless nobody
And I can't go down that road again

So each day I drag myself out of bed
And play pretend
Just so that I can be noticed by the power you bring
Your my lifeline and if you were ever to leave I'd be dead
A dying flame with no hope

So I can't tell you my deepest darkest secret
No matter how close we have come to be
Because I am nothing without you
you are my fuel

You are what makes my life look glamorous
But really I'm suffering on the inside
Please don't ask me to spill my secrets
I don't want to become the invisible girl that no one cares about

So please don't ask and I won't tell
And we can go on living in a fake relationship
Filled with sadness and despair

As long as someone like you is around
I may be aloud to live getting by each day being known
Not lonely and invisible
Gone from the earth with a proof
Not forgotten

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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

Mr-solo said...
Feb. 11, 2016 at 4:01 pm
Awesom Poem!
PJD17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 27, 2011 at 9:00 am
fantastic and extremely deep and honest  you really have a gift for poetry  keep writing
PerfectMGymnast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:23 pm
Thanks!!! :))
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