Agonizing
The thought of utter disappointment and failure percolates in ones mind
Sulking through the following days
Hour by hour
Minute by minute
Hoping
Praying to a god that I may not even believe in
Knowing that my parents will want to know
Require
Why wasn’t this?
How did you not know that?
Final
The one
Test
Word
Assignment
Changes a
Grade
Year
Career
Application
Success and future
On
the
line
Everyday tiptoeing into class
Hoping to be unspotted from the world
Just let me get through this one test
Let me turn in this one assignment
Get me out of the pain and misery
Should your life ever be considered?
The possibilities of cruel punishment are endless
Phone
Computer
Television
Privileges
Extracurricular
Organizations
All gone
A parent’s trust
Noting more important
There was
Concentration
Time
Consideration
Effort
All it took
Behind your back
Breathing down your neck
All I want is the best for you
Just try your hardest
Colleges wont appreciate
those grades
What more can you do
4 days left
Not even the most important
One grade on a transcript
One grade of a semester
Is improvement even worth trying for?
Why reach for the moon if the stars if the best you can achieve?
You look at others
Belittle them for their hard work
In order to
Boost
Your
Ego
Back
and
forth
Forth
and
back
The devil and angel go at it again
Just one semester
How can you not care about this grade?
Still 7 to go
Your parents will be devastated
Improvement shows potential
Your transcript will look terrible
Why would a college want to accept you?
There is no turning back now you have already failed
The angel becomes quieter … and quieter … and quieter
Silence
The battle has been fought
The devil has prevailed
We have a winner
Ding
ding
ding
Winning is everything
Winning everything does not make you better
Hurting yourself
Hour by hour
Minute by minute
The mind continues to rattle back and forth
Why cant it all just stop?
The way out could be death
Cant there be a simpler way than taking a life you believe you love?
Everyone else
You will know what to do better
You’ve learned your lesson
There should be an easier way
There was
Concentration
Time
Consideration
Effort
All it took
The chances are long gone now
Missing
A while within you forever
Tears will only make a pool in which you cant swim in
Cry me a river
Build a bridge
Get over it
Changes will be made
Defeat will not be accepted
For the great once said
If you accept losing,
You
Cant
Win
What if it happens again?
She makes a great start from the lead
Turning around the corner she is still in front
And from the back is a breakaway
Coming up to the front she is in sight of the finish line
At
The 40
The 30
The 20
The 10
Choke
Trip
Fail
Defeat
It is too late now
Final
Your
Lifeline
One call to home
The only way out
I could be different
It should have been an easier way
There was
Concentration
Time
Consideration
Effort
All it took
Think about it
The reasoning behind your grades
Was it the missing assignments?
Yes
There was more to it
Tests
Your main weakness
Yet you depend on
6
Consecutive
Tests
It is as if they want me to fail
Teachers
They butter you up
It is so simple
You will finish it in no time
Just as long as
Your
Notes
Are
Good
What about those who have poor notes
Or better yet
Have
None
at
all
What are their chances of a good grade?
Test must be a death summon for them
No way of a good outcome
No chance of success
What will their life after high school be?
I am unlike them
I have notes
Learning
Studying
Understanding
Can be the difficulty
Why couldn’t I have paid attention everyday?
Distractions got the better of me
The social experiment
A week without facebook
I couldn’t even accomplish that
Shoulda
Coulda
Woulda
There was
Concentration
Time
Consideration
Effort
All it took
The thought of utter disappointment and failure percolates in ones mind
Agonizing