January 21, 2011
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I’ll never see the size I felt
The night I found the ocean
Our exhausted four door sighed into silence
On the weatherworn cobblestone.

My companions exhaustion slowed them
But I ran
Leaping from my shoes and my clothes
This new friend wouldn’t judge me
Or the fleshy body I’d poured into a swimsuit.

Few things feel faster than flying
Over an inch of ice water
Until the splash of your numb feet is alone
In reminding you where you are.

Kicks and screams of a tall toddler,
I went deeper that in should have at night.
Gooseflesh thighs shook beneath me
As I marched farther outward

Grinning with rattling teeth
I stomped and jumped
Drenching the torso I didn’t dare submerge
My weary family then found me
Rolled eyes belittled my inappropriate glee

I slid eagerly towards them
Clapping for my own performance
They’re impatient and bitter, tapping toes
Waiting for my curtain fall
But not yet.

I turn in the sand
Dragging my toe
Making one perfect arch
I skip and repeat the quick movement
Again and again
Carving a grainy gray braid onto the beach.

I whirled and spun
Calling to the ocean
Screaming, Victory!
A ballet on point,
A ballroom dance or a waltz.
Adrenalin filling my turn

I twisted and curled in the new feeling,
So small, a still so strong.
Ten feet tall, or two, I couldn’t tell
My beating heart couldn’t choose an emotion
With a cry of acceptance
I collapse on the gritty ground.

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