Last Night

January 8, 2011
Last night, she was driving down Highway 5
For once, she felt the wind in her face and it told her she was alive
She felt like she could conquer the world in the blink of an eye
But nobody told her that that was a lie

All she wanted was a hero and a friend to call her own
Someone she could depend on to be there when she needed someone to know
Realize what it is that this life is really trying to show
And how come she couldn’t figure it out for anything why she always felt, so low

The scars on her right arm, only a reminder now of the painful moments past
Relationships that worked for a while, but somehow they couldn’t last
Why did everything good always have to lose its spark and die out so fast?
What use to be beautiful, the memories, the hopeful stories
Are the only things she ever had..

At one point, she had her future held firmly in her hands
Ready to get going, put action into her plans
Like being at the top of a mountain, she knew how tall she could stand
She never thought she was capable of giving all that up
Just for one ordinary man..

The possibility scared her to death, of just letting him in
It didn’t have anything to do with anything he did
Now a mess, she started to spread herself far too thin
Not after long, he became her everything
All she ever was, used to be, and is

For the very first time, she felt her heart ripping into pieces
For the first time, she could feel it, but not release it
Couldn’t let go of the painstaking sensation
It was a nightmare from which she could not awaken
But at the very same time, it was the most wonderful thing
Just to love him the way she did, to have someone she needed

To look in his eyes and see all the depth
To watch him smile, pretend the old him never left
To hug him goodbye and act like she had conveyed all the things she should have said
Of course, she couldn’t build her own reality and melt the real world away instead

When she looked back over her shoulder, he had disappeared like a cloud of smoke
Taken over by the girl she thought she used to know
And after long, he had changed too much and now it was getting old
Watching them enjoy what they called love when inside she wished their own would unfold

But that was about as real as a fairy tale, sugar coated and painted up real nice
She only hoped that one day, she could take their advice
Leave the past to work itself out and move on to what’s promising and never think twice
Who would ever have to know that all these years, she’s had to pay this price?

It used to be glorious, spectacular and magical
Back when he was hers and nothing mattered except for the extraordinarily fantastical
She could be whoever she wanted without ever worrying about them all
When freedom was endearing and when she descended, she knew he’d break her fall

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