I was young, I was helpless, I was defensive
I never intended for the pain and the dark side of what could have been
The words you used to give me, I took in so deep
As if a knife had slit my wrist and evaporated inside
The tone and actions you use to gave me was my drug and I needed more
The exchanges of stares I long for
Time that I wanted burn in my limit of control
I was mentally and emotionally attached to you so quick
Was it you that drew me in, or my sub conscious?
The rage and rapid fear, I began to grow into my system
Jealously, lies, trust issues
I became a monster, but only a monster for you
Did you witness it? Did you?
I clung by your side, hoping you’d stay on and never leave
But I remember that day, on a Sunday
How you drugged me with the truth
That day, I suicide in my mind
With the pouring of my emotions into the tears
You could merely look at me
Scared, lost, like a puppy on a unknown street
I thought I would never be okay again
Everyday viewing you, my head pounds into a human, banging on the walls
I felt ugly, like an unwanted beast, for no one could ever feel like that for me again
I denied everything that made me happy and focus on depression
Till months later, I figured out, happiness, is a choice
My heart slowly began to heal, but still shatter every time I passed by and talked to you
In the verge of the end of my heartache, however, I did drop something off
A gift from my heart, where my time and effort was needed to give you this special present
A gift planned so deeply and for a split moment, I thought it would solve us
And restart us again but, in the end, the pause of when I handed you my symbol
My feelings were given along with it, and my thoughts, and pain
A prisoner of the heart once, but alas, I am now free