Starving | Teen Ink

Starving

January 18, 2011
By cherrycherryxoxo BRONZE, Moorpark, California
cherrycherryxoxo BRONZE, Moorpark, California
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
I think that I'm so psychotic and so mentally ill that if I could tap into that I could do something really interesting.
Megan Fox


In my eyes, the mirror stares at a freak not a girl
A lost cause with no hope, a mistake who should die

In my eyes I see the beautiful people, thin and pretty
Tall and sweet, I wonder why I’m so alone

In my eyes they silently stare at me and whisper
That girl needs help, because I’m so ugly

In my soul I’m starving for the life I throw up
And the food in it too, I crave it ‘til it hurts

In my soul I smell the forbidden poison and
scream. I hear the ignorance eating it and cringe

In my soul 2 more pounds gained means 2 more meals skipped
Plus 2 more miles to run, and 2 close to losing control

In my life I can’t breath, my face turns blue and my eyes roll back yet,
my finger goes deeper into my throat and I finally choke up the poison

As the last of the acid scorches my throat the
Blood, air and satisfaction flood my face. I smile

In my life, the scale says 89... 90... 91
I step off in disappointment, 6 more pounds to go

In my life they yell, your fucking up our lives
My brother whispers please don’t leave, My mom sobs your dieing

In my life, I feel helpless and I try to help them and me
By throwing up my worries, my sanity, my poison, and my life away


The author's comments:
This is from about two years ago, it was for an english project, freshmen year...
i used to ano-bulimic as i like to call it.
I would eat 200 calories a day, at the most, usually less. If i ate anymore than that i would throw the rest up, and then run at least 6 or 7 miles a day.
It's the raw version, so i will edit it soon.

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